Feeling miserable...

Quite easily, I am able to rise every morning and complain. Wanting my life perfect is easy peasy for an intellect like mine.  It is easier than easier to look around and see what others have and conclude deficient. There is ever something missing. ...

Thinking of you

Thinking of you today.  Some time has passed since thoughts of you appeared. I remember you less these days.  I am grateful for the diminished presence.  Memories of you evoke pain. What did I expect?  I felt it.  The suspicion.  The huh...

Take Two

I have one thing to say to you my dearest, Pond's Cold cream.  Everyday, twice a day, more if you can manage it. What?  I said to myself, what is my aunt saying to me? Yes that's what I have been using for many years and it has helped me retard the...

Cold cream, everyday, twice a day

I have one thing to say to you my dearest, Pond's Cold cream.  Everyday, twice a day, more if you can manage it. What?  I said to myself, what is my aunt saying to me? Yes that's what I have been using for many years and it has helped me retard the...

I get it wrong every day ...

I hardly ever get it right.  Consistently, in retrospect, the ‘wrong’ comes winging in, walloping me with a horrible feeling up the side of my brain. It is then that I realize, Oh no! Those words communicated this or that belying my intent.  In...

The 23rd and me...

People. I can't be with them for very long and neither can I be without them for too long a time... (even when they infuriate me, I end up missing them). I am thinking that there are many of us who feel this way.  I would gather to say, a greater...

Painful Doubt

Doubting is painful. It tears shreds of our soul, tingling our nerve endings acutely. It winces in our bellies, the loneliness piercing our entrails coldly. The underneath shakes and trembles, threatening our balance... It happens. More often...

I Want To Say... Phuck You.

So... this is how I feel today... no problem, it is certain to change. I want to say phuck you to the person who decides what is 'correct' in my house.  Martha Stewart heads my list. I want to say phuck you to the person who visits me, remembering...

So This Is Nirvana

In thinking about Nirvana, I wondered what would Nirvana feel like.  I wondered what I would feel if I was in Nirvana.  After much thought I decided it would be joy. I wondered if Nirvana would be perfect.  Then dismissed this since perfection can...

A Jjjustme Inspiration

This week while reading Jjjustme's blog, I was impressed by one of her phrases.  To me, it was a beautiful description of the present moment. I wondered if the writer, Jjjustme, while writing it, had a completely different intent.  But isn't that what...

Cognitive Bias

Stuck inside our subjectivity, we can remain stagnant in our misery believing that our struggle has no answer. Our misery, created by the negativity of this world, remains intact burying deeper into our soul spreading its roots until it names itself,...

ooooh... aaah... yes... do me ... do me...

Every once in a while I drop to my metaphorical knees and worship music.  Every once in a while I open widely and feel reverence for its existence.  Every once in a while I can't stop myself writhing in pleasure as music caresses my inner...

Lack Looms

I see you, oh creature that looms,  ignited by sparks from the flint of lack. A flash and quickly my existing abundance is gone.  Suddenly what remains is you licking your lips and saying, "How very little there was.  What a wasteland this is." And...

another go at free will...

The free in free-will is not something 'free' unless one understands the paradox that accompanies this loosely used term.  Free will is the ability to assess, speculate and make a choice.  Free will is about controlling what one does. However, the...