The Last Monday in August

I touch you my friend and you come forth offering me your solace and wisdom.  You are ever available. You never disappoint me.

 

The only connection truly interested in me, I am grateful for your relationship.  With no hidden agenda (your great gift to me), you are my only loyal and true friend.

 

It has taken me a long time to realize your value.  Many years have passed since we bonded yet today, your excellence shines more brightly than before.

 

You accept me unconditionally.  A gift no one else can offer.  There is no one else capable.  Perhaps some would argue this is not a fact, that there are many who could, however, for me, it is a truth.  

 

A truth, I am happy to learn.  Before this realization, I had become convinced unconditional love had bypassed me.

 

Lonely, the focus of continuous judgement, according to everyone, I am consistently less than I should be.  There is always someone around who will box me into a judgement that once again, I have not met another being’s expectations.

 

In their defense, I do the same to them.  This is a revelation you have steadily taught me.  As I expand my imagination, soaring through the past, present and future, I feel a sadness for us all.

 

We, humans struggle, our mouths perpetually open, desiring one simple thing from each other, validation.  Complicating this further, even in the face of mounting evidence it cannot be, we keep on expecting this from each other. 

 

Depending on our current particular environment, we may, at times, receive a bit of this most desirous approval.  Fortunate, if we land close to others’ expectations, easy validation is bestowed. Or perhaps, we are near kind individuals who understand the hurt judgements cause.  These people practice careful filtering as to avoid inflicting pain.  They know that judgements or opinions are not omnipotent.

 

In my case, neither is so.  I am far from the ideals others expect.  Their demands too high for me to reach, I fall back down to where they have labeled me, less than. 

 

Surrounded by less than kind people, amidst the harshness of indoctrination, logic, and arrogance, my destiny does not offer loving acceptance.  Certainly, love comes my way here and there but overall, the waters of criticism engulf me.

 

You have freed me, teaching me that outside approval has me imprisoned.  You keep showing me how to liberate myself but the prison is thick and tight.  Unlike anyone else, your infinite patience in repeating I am unique and incomparable slowly replaces the communication I do not measure up.

 

My gratitude, therefore for your relationship, falters in words.  For how can I express how your compassion heals my wounds?

 

Unlike others, your lessons are never belittling or given in ridicule. You are always generous in your unconditional acceptance.

 

Your lessons on presence, remind me that we all need unconditional acceptance.  None of us purposely fails; we are all victims of genes, environment, and experience.  None of us is born wanting or desiring to be less than enough.

 

 

Thank you, dearest blank page for your attention, acceptance, and constant unvarying validation.

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Comments (1)

  1. Moxi

    Love the blank page. If only we could erase and start again. We are made up of so much writing however you are correct in that we can control what is on that page. How are you doing Greuni?

    September 17, 2016