What is being one's self?

What is being one's self?


This has long been a confusing concept to me.  The first question that has as yet not been answered satisfactorily is: Exactly what is being one's self?  


Is it saying and doing whatever spontaneously occurs in our minds?  


Is it my choices resulting from a preferential guidance system?  If so, how much is that preferential system influenced by parental, societal and experience influence?


If I have a new preference am I still being myself?


I hope you will give me your ideas.  I ask this without ulterior motives.  I just don't understand what everyone means when they say this.


If you do take the time to offer me your perception, I thank you in advance. I will not comment on your perception.  I am interested in acquiring your opinions and then pondering on them.


I have been trying to understand this concept for many years but it seems to me that being myself is impossible in relationship with another being.  In my experience the only time I am absolutely free to be myself is alone.  For when I express myself without a filtering system, another is quick to correct me into the 'right' way of being.  Holding on, insisting of being the incorrect whatever only results in an argument. 


If I then learn an improved way of being, am I no longer just being myself?







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Comments (5)

  1. cannonfodder

    What is even more confusing is when someone accuses me of “just being myself”. Ha ha. How can I be anything else?

    February 26, 2017
  2. depressedgirl

    It is so awesome to see you here. I’ve been thinking of you. Now, I am going to go back and read what you wrote.

    February 26, 2017
  3. depressedgirl

    To me being oneself is thinking and acting just as you feel without hurting others feelings. You should not say or do what would hurt another even if they hurt you. But you can think inside what you really feel and not hide from yourself the way you really are. If you find that inside yourself you are really thinking bad things then begin to try and change the bad parts to become a better person. I always try never to hurt another. But in my family I find it hard to not be honest and say the wrong things to my family, so that is something I am going to try and change about myself. And make myself be that better person. Does that make sense? So that I don’t say things to my family that hurts them.

    February 26, 2017
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  6. shadowstarz

    Being ones self is learning to walk your own pathway as opposed to being a carbon copy attention seeking whore with a proclivity for stalking innocent people whom the object of your sick obsession has shown an interest in.
    It means having your own career pathway as opposed to making shit up at almost 40 and beyond. It means being real and true to your self instead of dwelling in a house of cards playing poker with nothing but your gaping whole to offer as you struggle with one of many undiagnosed personality disorders.

    February 27, 2017
  7. drivefaastakechances

    Doing the best we can with what we got—at the time it’s given and we learn to accept it as such and embrace it. It meaning recognition of self as it acts and behaves, perhaps. Good to see you, good to read you!

    February 28, 2017